Since weddings were pretty non-existent in our family for the past several years, all of the subtle changes escaped most of us, so it became important to figure out how people were planning them. Brooke had been in eight weddings since she turned 20, and everything she told me about how things were done seemed pretty foreign. Of course I didn’t pay much attention, since none affected me directly, but she managed to form several ideas about what she wanted and didn’t want when her own time came. Quinn, on the other hand, was pretty much a blank slate. The first wedding she ever went to she was also IN, but because of the size of it and the number of people attending, she also decided what she liked and what she didn’t.
My number one tip in wedding planning with your daughter is to pay attention to what she wants. You can gently guide her in another direction if you feel it’s warranted, but arguing about trivial things that in the long run are so unimportant, will just break down honest communication with her. We all have our own ideas about how weddings ‘should’ be, but it’s time to let go when dealing with someone who doesn’t need so much ‘help’.
They don’t NEED to try on a hundred dresses to find ‘the one’. Maybe WE think it’s important for them to try a variety of styles before they make their decision, but if they get that feeling that they don’t want to take the dress off, that’s a pretty good clue that they’re done looking and love their choice. Then STOP LOOKING. Designers come out with new dresses quite regularly, and there will always be something new and exciting that captures your attention, but don’t drive yourself and them crazy by continuing to push. They have the dress that makes them happy, so it’s time to move on.
Veils. It seems that since many brides are older these days, they may not want to wear one. Hair flowers, fascinators, birdcage veils and sparkly headbands are really popular in today’s weddings, so if she insists on having something on her head that she just LOVES, let her have it. Not everyone wants to wear a veil, so try and give it up.